How To Pet a Horse

Petting a horse might seem like a simple interaction. However, knowing how to pet a horse properly is important for two reasons: First, petting horses correctly builds trust and creates a mutually positive experience. Second, knowing how to pet them keeps both of you safe.

Here’s what you need to know about petting a horse.

How To Pet a Horse: Step-by-Step Instructions

Knowing how a horse likes to be approached, where to pet a horse, and recognizing signs of discomfort enables you to confidently interact with a horse how they want to be pet.

“Horses touch very deliberately when they touch each other,” says Nicole Birkholzer, an equine communication and behavioral specialist and founder of Mindful Connections. “They don’t randomly touch each other. They groom with intention and engage in a meaningful exchange.”

With that in mind, consider using these five steps the next time you pet a horse:

1. Resist reaching for the face first. It’s human nature to pet the face first. But because horses are prey animals, that immediate first interaction can feel uncomfortable, according to Ginny Telego, a facilitator of equine-assisted learning workshops through her business The Collaboration Partners. “I liken it to how you would feel if someone put a hand to your face as soon as they see you,” she says.  

2. Use the horseman’s handshake. Birkholzer says the best way to begin is to reach out to the horse with your palm facing the ground. This is known as the “horseman’s handshake,” and it allows the horse to sniff you if interested. “Horses blow on a person’s skin and read the echo of that scent to see if you’re grounded, curious, anxious, uncertain,” she says.

3. Approach from the side with confidence. Without being overly cautious, initiate contact in the shoulder/wither area. “You don’t want the horse to think you’re being sneaky,” Birkholzer says. “Start by scratching or making a circle with an open palm in the shoulder and wither area because that’s where horses connect.”

4. Talk to the horse. Speak to the horse to offer a head’s up that you’re approaching to avoid startling them, especially if you’re out of their line of vision.

5. Watch for subtle cues. If the horse responds by licking, chewing, or blowing out their breath, they have determined you’re safe to them, Telego explains.

Where Do Horses Like to Be Pet?

In a herd, horses groom each other on the withers and around the shoulder area, making it the most natural place for horses to be pet.

Once a horse trusts you, you may find they like a pet in other areas, too.

For example, Telego owns one horse who loves to have his chest in between his front legs scratched, or the top of his butt. “He stretches his neck out and wiggles his lip, telling me he is enjoying that kind of touch,” she says.

Where Do Horses Not Like to Be Touched?

The ears, muzzle, and lips are sensitive areas a horse may not like to be pet, explains Birkholzer. The whiskers in these areas are sensitive because that is how horses explore the world.

“If we put a hand there, it will put a lot of pressure on a sensitive area,” she says. “If a horse turns away, doesn’t look relaxed, or the nostril gets tight, it’s a sign they aren’t appreciating touch in that area.”  

Watching the horse’s body language provides many clues regarding how they like—or don’t like—being pet in a specific area.

“If you see a horse with his ears flat back on the neck, it’s a sign he’s uncomfortable with what you’re doing,” Telego says. “Step away and give them space.”

Another sign of an uncomfortable horse is if you can see the whites of their eyes. And if a horse is really stressed or in pain when pet in an area, they may bare their teeth or try to bite.

How To Get Your Horse Used to Being Pet

Before getting a horse used to being pet, consider their background and behavior. If a horse is scared due to previous mishandling or never having been handled, it’s essential to assess if you have the skills to help the horse overcome their history or if professional help is necessary.

“To make a horse familiar with touch, allow the horse to explore you first,” Birkholzer says. “I let a horse engage with me and explore me if he wants to nuzzle my shoulder or hand without touching. It allows them to be curious.”

She also recommends having a variety of brushes like a curry comb, stiff brush, and soft brush. Brushing mimics horses’ natural interactions and is an opportunity to build a relationship with your horse.

“Take two brushes and hold them out to the horse. Watch his response, which one he sniffs, or if he gives one an extra touch,” she says. “If you keep all your grooming tools in a bucket or bag, let the horse pull out the tool they want to be brushed with.”

Horse treats may also encourage a horse to become more comfortable with being pet. Birkholzer prefers treating a horse before an interaction rather than after.

“I like to give treats as an incentive and as a token of friendship, rather than as a reward,” she says. “It helps build trust.”